the one guy i actually like?
fuck doesnt even live here and has a gf and shit alreadyy
this sucks soooo bad. i cant stop thinkin about it and im just like wtf is wrong with me because its not like we were together or something and idk why i care im just a total fagg. gah i feel like a stalker or soemthing
i just want someonee. someone who will aactually like me for me, cause for some reason i feel completely ugly and schools starting soon and i have a feeling im gonna be single foreverrr
sdkguhas;dkjhgas shut up jazmin
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
wow
It's funny how i make diaries, journals, and now blogs and totally think im gonna stick with it, but never doo... ahah. well this summer has been amazing. i've made soo many new friends i have no idea what im going to do next year. this girl brittany, well shes fuckin awesome, and errk? i love them both. their sooo tight! and well michelee is my best friend again and im soo happy. i missed that bitch. we've been through sooo much over the years im glad were back together and weeds not the number one thing anymore. She's dating this kid and i actually approve. he's a cool kid, a lil crazy but its all good ahah.
this summer has changed me. ive kinda grown up and yet been a kid too. ive made some really close friends with people and im so glad. fuckin seth and all them are tight i guess, even if they piss me off.
i tried thizz and well idk ya i liked it but im way to afraid of it. i might do it one more time at the end of the summer but that's it. probably never again or not for a long long long long time. im really scared of it.
gah im in hawaii right now and i was thinking that i probably would've had a better time stayin home... its just im soo bored and its not as fun as it used to be. i wish i could drive cause it would make it soo much better
but fuck i really get annoyed with my family. its like me and shae are now on the side with amanda and lucas and my dad. were the outcasts... that standout and take the pictures of the "perfect family" its fuckin stupid. everything i say to him goes through one ear and out the other. lucas is my lil bro. he officially annoys the shit out of me yet i cant help but love him... amanda gets a lil too harsh on him a lot but the kid really needs to learn to listen. i love my sister, we can truly be ourselvesaround eachother. she's amazing but sometimes it makes me laugh cause she idk kinda tries to be like me or do things like me... like taking pictures, or wanting to be a photographer.. ahha it makes me laugh! wow. it amazes me how somepeople just cant be their own person and have to bounce ideas off of someone else..
but whatever their family andi love them, just i need my alone time haha
eeeek this school year is gonan be amazing. i feel like i have soo many peoplei can count on, but like i said i have no idea who im gonna hangout with! ive made soo many friends with different groups, and frankly, i don't really want to hangout with mindy's group anymore... like ill hangout everyonce in a while but its getting old just walkin to sunnyside everyday then sitting down and cahtting. it's fun sometimes i have to admit but i need a change. im ready for something different...
it sucks to think that jasmine and hannah really arent in my life anymore considering they were my best friends for sooo long, this whole year pretty much. its weird to me that now their off on their own... and i sometimes wonder if they ever miss me like i miss them. we had sooo much fun together. me michelee hannah and jasmine... until we got caught, that changed everything.. i quit and they stayed the same.
it sucked but i kept up with it... i still smoke occasionally but i always have that thought in the back of my mind that my mom is gonna test me or something, so i try not too
im happy with my life, even without a guy.
i kinda just wish i had someone, but i quessim okayy
asjd;dslfk lifes good, idk maybe ill keep up with this blogger thing.. kinda nice to vent to;]
this summer has changed me. ive kinda grown up and yet been a kid too. ive made some really close friends with people and im so glad. fuckin seth and all them are tight i guess, even if they piss me off.
i tried thizz and well idk ya i liked it but im way to afraid of it. i might do it one more time at the end of the summer but that's it. probably never again or not for a long long long long time. im really scared of it.
gah im in hawaii right now and i was thinking that i probably would've had a better time stayin home... its just im soo bored and its not as fun as it used to be. i wish i could drive cause it would make it soo much better
but fuck i really get annoyed with my family. its like me and shae are now on the side with amanda and lucas and my dad. were the outcasts... that standout and take the pictures of the "perfect family" its fuckin stupid. everything i say to him goes through one ear and out the other. lucas is my lil bro. he officially annoys the shit out of me yet i cant help but love him... amanda gets a lil too harsh on him a lot but the kid really needs to learn to listen. i love my sister, we can truly be ourselvesaround eachother. she's amazing but sometimes it makes me laugh cause she idk kinda tries to be like me or do things like me... like taking pictures, or wanting to be a photographer.. ahha it makes me laugh! wow. it amazes me how somepeople just cant be their own person and have to bounce ideas off of someone else..
but whatever their family andi love them, just i need my alone time haha
eeeek this school year is gonan be amazing. i feel like i have soo many peoplei can count on, but like i said i have no idea who im gonna hangout with! ive made soo many friends with different groups, and frankly, i don't really want to hangout with mindy's group anymore... like ill hangout everyonce in a while but its getting old just walkin to sunnyside everyday then sitting down and cahtting. it's fun sometimes i have to admit but i need a change. im ready for something different...
it sucks to think that jasmine and hannah really arent in my life anymore considering they were my best friends for sooo long, this whole year pretty much. its weird to me that now their off on their own... and i sometimes wonder if they ever miss me like i miss them. we had sooo much fun together. me michelee hannah and jasmine... until we got caught, that changed everything.. i quit and they stayed the same.
it sucked but i kept up with it... i still smoke occasionally but i always have that thought in the back of my mind that my mom is gonna test me or something, so i try not too
im happy with my life, even without a guy.
i kinda just wish i had someone, but i quessim okayy
asjd;dslfk lifes good, idk maybe ill keep up with this blogger thing.. kinda nice to vent to;]
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
thoughts running through my mind
so pretty much. im starting to like my ex again. i look at old messages and it makes me so sad. idk its weird. idk if its whether i want him back or whether or not i want to be in love again. i miss having the butterflies 24/7 when thinking of someone or being with someone. and stupid arguments and dumb shit like that. i miss it and i want to be totally happy again. i mean im happy now but i just want what i used to have. but then again i think about it and i really dont want a bf because this summer im supposed to be traveling to hawaii and colorado and i want to be single and be able to be free i guess
i just wish i could have my old life back, when michelee and jasmine were my best friends and we had so much fun just sitting around on the weekend, and they wouldnt need to smoke to be ok. or when it was the old group and we would all walk around town everyday and hang out in tacobell and it would be like 15 of us. i know it sounds lame but i just miss it.
yet, i look at my life now and my friends now, and its so great. i really am happy. they are like family. i look around at lunch and realize im happy, travis and jordan are litterally my best friends these days, their so unique and just like fuck off lets all be friends i guess, i can have so much fun just doing bull shit stuff with them, we just need a car desperatly ahha
i miss shianne too though, and its gunna be so weird when she comes and me and michelee start to hang out again, hopefully it wont all be about weed or soemthing, i dont really want apart with that
ashdgkjsdgkj lately it seems my mind wanders to the ends of the earth, thinking of the most foreign things.
i just wish i could have my old life back, when michelee and jasmine were my best friends and we had so much fun just sitting around on the weekend, and they wouldnt need to smoke to be ok. or when it was the old group and we would all walk around town everyday and hang out in tacobell and it would be like 15 of us. i know it sounds lame but i just miss it.
yet, i look at my life now and my friends now, and its so great. i really am happy. they are like family. i look around at lunch and realize im happy, travis and jordan are litterally my best friends these days, their so unique and just like fuck off lets all be friends i guess, i can have so much fun just doing bull shit stuff with them, we just need a car desperatly ahha
i miss shianne too though, and its gunna be so weird when she comes and me and michelee start to hang out again, hopefully it wont all be about weed or soemthing, i dont really want apart with that
ashdgkjsdgkj lately it seems my mind wanders to the ends of the earth, thinking of the most foreign things.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
confusion in the boy department
so pretty much, ive noticed that i have relationship issues. for me its like everytime i get a bf i lose interest way to fast.
ex: charlie*
i liked him a lot only 2 weeks ago, like ohhh hes so cool blah blah but now that we are dating i just get annoyed by his little "faces" or things that are supposed to be funny. they just annoy the shit out of me and piss me off. and now im faced with having to break up with him which is really difficult and confusing. i hate having to do this but i know i cant stand it anymore. my friends say "give it till the end of the week" but i dont know if i have the patience for that. gahh maybe im just pmsing but i doubt it. i mean hes a great guy but akghskdh
i just want the perfect guy that im always head over heels for. the guy that i can be myself around and that i can love every little thing about him. i thought i had that a long time ago, but it wasnt mutual i guess.
more later.
*name change.
ex: charlie*
i liked him a lot only 2 weeks ago, like ohhh hes so cool blah blah but now that we are dating i just get annoyed by his little "faces" or things that are supposed to be funny. they just annoy the shit out of me and piss me off. and now im faced with having to break up with him which is really difficult and confusing. i hate having to do this but i know i cant stand it anymore. my friends say "give it till the end of the week" but i dont know if i have the patience for that. gahh maybe im just pmsing but i doubt it. i mean hes a great guy but akghskdh
i just want the perfect guy that im always head over heels for. the guy that i can be myself around and that i can love every little thing about him. i thought i had that a long time ago, but it wasnt mutual i guess.
more later.
*name change.
Monday, April 7, 2008
this is Jazmin
ok. well i guess im just a teenage girl living in a hell hole of a town. i pretty much hate this town at times, but love it too. the only reason i really made this blogger is to get some of my feelings out in writing. im probably going to write stuff on here that ive never told anyone just because no one i know will most likely read this. i guess ive been through a lot for only being 14, then again i havent. i feel older then i really am, and i hate my age because i feel like i have more knowledge then most 14 year olds. im a loud person in a way, but i keep most of my emotions bottled up. i dont trust a lot of people, and even the people i do trust don't know everything about me. ok. well thats enough for now. i cant really think of anything else to say at the moment.
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