thoughts running through my mind

so pretty much. im starting to like my ex again. i look at old messages and it makes me so sad. idk its weird. idk if its whether i want him back or whether or not i want to be in love again. i miss having the butterflies 24/7 when thinking of someone or being with someone. and stupid arguments and dumb shit like that. i miss it and i want to be totally happy again. i mean im happy now but i just want what i used to have. but then again i think about it and i really dont want a bf because this summer im supposed to be traveling to hawaii and colorado and i want to be single and be able to be free i guess
i just wish i could have my old life back, when michelee and jasmine were my best friends and we had so much fun just sitting around on the weekend, and they wouldnt need to smoke to be ok. or when it was the old group and we would all walk around town everyday and hang out in tacobell and it would be like 15 of us. i know it sounds lame but i just miss it.


yet, i look at my life now and my friends now, and its so great. i really am happy. they are like family. i look around at lunch and realize im happy, travis and jordan are litterally my best friends these days, their so unique and just like fuck off lets all be friends i guess, i can have so much fun just doing bull shit stuff with them, we just need a car desperatly ahha

i miss shianne too though, and its gunna be so weird when she comes and me and michelee start to hang out again, hopefully it wont all be about weed or soemthing, i dont really want apart with that

ashdgkjsdgkj lately it seems my mind wanders to the ends of the earth, thinking of the most foreign things.

confusion in the boy department

so pretty much, ive noticed that i have relationship issues. for me its like everytime i get a bf i lose interest way to fast.
ex: charlie*
i liked him a lot only 2 weeks ago, like ohhh hes so cool blah blah but now that we are dating i just get annoyed by his little "faces" or things that are supposed to be funny. they just annoy the shit out of me and piss me off. and now im faced with having to break up with him which is really difficult and confusing. i hate having to do this but i know i cant stand it anymore. my friends say "give it till the end of the week" but i dont know if i have the patience for that. gahh maybe im just pmsing but i doubt it. i mean hes a great guy but akghskdh
i just want the perfect guy that im always head over heels for. the guy that i can be myself around and that i can love every little thing about him. i thought i had that a long time ago, but it wasnt mutual i guess.
more later.

















*name change.

this is Jazmin

ok. well i guess im just a teenage girl living in a hell hole of a town. i pretty much hate this town at times, but love it too. the only reason i really made this blogger is to get some of my feelings out in writing. im probably going to write stuff on here that ive never told anyone just because no one i know will most likely read this. i guess ive been through a lot for only being 14, then again i havent. i feel older then i really am, and i hate my age because i feel like i have more knowledge then most 14 year olds. im a loud person in a way, but i keep most of my emotions bottled up. i dont trust a lot of people, and even the people i do trust don't know everything about me. ok. well thats enough for now. i cant really think of anything else to say at the moment.